Shadows
by radiogirl
Summary: Two fatalities. She died with Alex, but Max knows Liz still speaks to him. Their deaths shook the group, altering bonds with massive force. Will Max be able to peer through the shadows of doubt & deceit to feel her light again before it flickers out?
1. Dreams

Title: Shadows

Author: Radiogirl

Summary: Two fatalities. She died with Alex over a year ago, but Max knows that Liz still speaks to him. Their deaths shook the group, breaking and cementing bonds with the massive force. Will Max be able to peer through the shadows of doubt and deceit? He strives to see the light before it too dies with her memory.

Credit: The characters of Roswell are not mine, but the new plot and ideas from here on forward, however are. Also, credit is given to Oasis for the song "Cast No Shadow," my inspiration for this piece.

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A/N- It's been awhile since I've written fan fiction. This idea came to me today, and I couldn't push it away. So, here it is. Any questions will slowly be answered as the chapters proceed. Read and review, please.

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Shadows

"Where IS Liz?" Maria sighed irritably. I pulled my eyes away from Michael to look toward the voice. Maria fiercely scrubbed the counter of the Crashdown Café, squinting her eyes at the stain. She dropped the sponge and looked down at the watch around her wrist, letting out a laugh. "An hour late!" She picked up the container filled to the brim with dirty plates and walked into the back.

"That's weird," I said, turning back to Michael. "Liz isn't usually late."

Michael shrugged, obviously not concerned. "Look Maxwell, Crapping Tiger is a chick flick with kung-fu." He said, leaning his chair back and resting his feet on the counter where Maria had been wiping only seconds before. I pushed his feet down and he laughed, shaking his head. "Like I said, I just call it like I see it."

I ignored Michael and turned away from him. Where is Liz? The question bounced around my head. I looked toward the booth where Tess, Maria, and Kyle sat, a pile of pictures strewn about in front of them. Tess's eyes caught mine and she smiled sweetly, her hand beckoning me over to the booth to sit with them. I didn't react and she turned around defeated, listening to Kyle as he pointed to another picture.

_Where is Liz? _The thought seemed to bounce from my mind and vibrate around the room. _Where is Liz?_

"NO!" The scream echoed through the room and I jumped from my chair, Michael right beside me. The laughter quieted at the booth as the three turned toward the noise as well. Maria burst through the doors from the back and fell into Michael's arms sobbing. "No," she whispered, closing her eyes tightly. I felt my heart contract, beating faster and faster as I saw Sheriff Valenti push slowly through the doors. An icy chill began to seize me, starting at my toes and moving upward, slowly taking over my body. I shivered, watching as he took a step forward.

His eyes were vacant and detached, glued to the floor. Slowly he looked up and caught my eye and I saw the tear sliding slowly down his face. I knew the words before they came from his mouth. "There's been an accident," he said slowly. I felt the air being squeezed out of the room as we all waited. "Liz and Alex are dead."

The room spun violently out of control. The Crashdown walls began to blur into a mix of vibrant, indistinguishable color as I felt myself begin to fall. _Liz and Alex are dead. Liz and Alex are dead. Liz and Alex are dead._ The words continued to repeat through me. My mind was dizzy with the colors plunging down upon me with violent force.

Suddenly the colors ceased and an endless darkness wrapped around me. Suffocating. Liz appeared, walking slowly toward me and casting light on the incessant dark. Her hair blew slowly as she stared, a small smile playing on her lips.

"See, Max?" She asked, giggling as she looked down. Her eyes drew quickly upward. "Do you see? Look again. Our sun… no shadow."

I jerked, sitting up quickly in bed. My breaths came ragged and quickly as I looked around at the dark room. I felt the shivers trembling through my body. Slowly my brain began to register. I felt the cold sweat on my back as I lay back down beneath the covers. Her face flooded back into my memory. She'd been so real. It's funny that even a year after they'd left us, Liz still spoke to me, her face etched in my memory.


	2. Broken Alliances

**A/N**- Thank you so much to the reviewers; you make thisso much easierto write. I have a pretty good idea of where this is going now, so it should come pretty quickly if interest in the story keeps up. I love this story and I hope you do too. Please review, it helps.

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I slid my card through the time clock and took off my name tag. Sighing, I began the walk through the UFO museum. Another day was done, and I still couldn't get Liz's image out of my mind. It had been almost a year, but her face was still clearer in my memory than anything I've ever known. When I dreamt of her, I could feel her essence brushing up against mine, urging me to remember that day over and over again. I'd dreamt of the night of her death many times, but she'd never spoken to me before last night. 

I pushed through the double doors and onto the sidewalk outside. People walked up and down the sidewalks of downtown; life moved onward. The sun was beginning to set on the horizon, casting an orange glow on the street, the buildings stretching long shadows down the sidewalk. I forced myself to glance across the street where the outside lights of the Crashdown Café had been turned on for the evening. Inside I saw groups huddled at the tables and counter where my friends and I used to gather in a time that seemed so long ago. It was hard to remember the time when we'd been so at peace with each other. Liz and Alex's deaths shook our group, altering the sense of stability we'd built over the years. In each other we all saw their lost faces, and in our memories they stood out like brilliant lights in the dark sky. It became so hard for us to live in the present without longing for the past. Therefore we all started to detach ourselves in our own way. Pushing away the security of each other, and the friendship we'd grown to trust.

My gaze flicked to the ally beside the Crashdown where I saw her huddled, leaning against the brick wall. I saw her there almost every night taking her break in the darkness of the ally. Her blond hair fell as a curtain around her face and I watched as she lifted the cigarette to her mouth, it's tip glowing as she breathed in, the smoke flowing slowly out of her mouth as she exhaled. She wrapped her arms around herself, attempting to ward off the cold of the oncoming desert evening. Of all of us, Maria had struggled and changed the most. None of us could understand what it was like to lose your two best friends in the entire world. For awhile she'd turned to alcohol to drown her pains. Now she simply worked off her sadness in a pack a day, absorbing herself in her music and pushing away all our attempts to help.

Michael tried the hardest to pull her out of her darkness. He'd devoted himself to her, trying so hard to make her happy. When she got absorbed in the alcohol, she'd pushed him away further. Maria slowly exiled herself from us all, and even Michael can't break through anymore. He doesn't say it, but I know he watches over her from afar. I've seen him watching her walk down the halls of school and making sure she gets to her car safely at night after late shifts at the Crashdown. His connection to her had shattered in the physical sense, but he still felt more deeply for her than he would ever admit to himself or to me.

It had slowly become a pattern of human versus alien over the past year. Maria stayed close to only Kyle, and I stayed close to Michael, Tess, and Isabel. Even those ties were slowly beginning to sever.

I took one final look at Maria. Her head turned and her dark eyes caught mine from across the street. She shook her hair out of her eyes and leaned her head back, breathing out slowly, the smoke falling in circles around her head. She didn't acknowledge me; she simply stared at me with her sad eyes. She watched as I turned and walked to my car, parked beside the museum. I made the quick drive back to my house and sighed when I saw the car in my driveway. I shouldn't be surprised; she came almost every night.

I walked through the door, hearing the familiar laughter from the living room. I threw my keys on the table and grabbed a soda before walking toward the noise. Tess sat with my mother on the couch and when I walked into the room both of their eyes drew toward me. Tess's gaze lingered longer, a smile playing on her lips as I sat on the couch adjacent to theirs. A sitcom rambled on the television, illuminating the room with artificial happiness.

"Max, welcome home." My mom said, looking toward me. "Tess just came by to chat and watch TV. Isn't that nice?" Her eyes stayed expectantly on me.

I nodded and smiled. "Yes, nice." I looked Tess in the eye for the first time. Her eyes still held the glimmer of hope, even after months of disappointment. After Liz and Alex's deaths, Tess had pushed closer in an attempt to heal my pains and become a part of me. I had pushed away, attempting to distance myself and hold the image of Liz in my mind. It was hard to remember that Prom night before the accident when I'd felt so close to Tess. In a way I always felt that she saw Liz's death as an opportunity for her personal gain. That thought made me sick inside, and forced me further and further from her. She still showed up at my house on a regular basis and talked to my mom, occasionally doing something fun with Isabel.

Without a word I stood up from the couch and headed up the stairs. I paused outside of Izzy's door, listening to the loud music coming from inside. I hesitated before lifting my hand to knock.

"Come in!" She screamed from inside and I pushed the door open. She lay sprawled on her bed painting her nails a rich red. She lifted her eyes to meet mine before looking back down at her nails. "Do you need something?" She asked, a hint of annoyance in her voice.

Isabel and I hadn't been close for months. She too had begun to distance herself from us. When Alex died, she'd lost the light in her eyes and she'd drawn away. Unlike Maria she stayed with the group, but she stood now only as a bystander. She watched us living our lives, and kept her distance from the world. She'd started dating a football player a few months ago and for awhile we were happy, because some of Isabel's light returned. She gained a piece of her energy back when she was around him. Lately, though, she'd seemed more fatigued, more reserved again. I worried about her but would never let her know it, because Isabel wasn't the type to take pity. If she knew the amount of my worry, she'd shrink away from me even more than before.

"Well?" She asked, looking back up at me. "Is there something you need Max or are you just going to stand there in the doorway?"

"I was just checking to see how you are," I said cautiously.

She sighed. "I'm fine." Rolling her eyes she looked back at her nails. "Why don't you just do downstairs with your girlfriend and leave me alone."

Her statement caught me off guard and I stood for a moment looking at her with sad eyes. "Isabel," I paused and she looked up. "Don't pretend. I know you hear me cry for her at night just as I hear you cry for him." I shut the door, leaving her alone before walking to my room.

That night, she came to me again. I sat at the counter in the Crashdown, music playing in the background. It was just as it was the night of the accident, except I was alone in the room. I looked around at the emptiness around me and sighed, listening as the music filled my heart.

_Bound with all the weight of all the words he tried to say,_

_Chained to all the places that he never wished to stay,_

_Bound with all the weight of all the words he tried to say,_

_As he faced the sun he cast no shadow..._

Slowly, she walked through the doors from the kitchen. She leaned up against the counter and stared at me. I looked back, the deep brown of her eyes smiling at me as she sighed.

"Don't you see, Max?" Liz asked, turning toward the juke box. I shook my head and she giggled. "Look again, Max. Listen. Our sun... it casts no shadow."

I opened my eyes and stared into my dark room. Her voice still echoed in my brain. She was so real that it frightened me. I slowly closed my eyes, her face still haunting me as I rocked myself into a fitful, dark sleep.

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Again, credit to Oasis for "Cast No Shadow" 


	3. The flame of hope

A/N- Although reviews were very scarce on the last chapter (as in, one review- thank you, Trickster-jz), I'm continuing on. I really enjoy writing this story, and I just hope that some of you are enjoying reading it. Review please (good or bad)... it really, really helps me get ideas and inspiration. Thank you. By the way, I don't know the highway systems or anything, so Route 486 is purely a made up name.

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The bright sun shone down on me as I leaned my body against the tree, sitting cross-legged on the grass. I looked around the quad and saw the remains of my group scattered around the grassy area. Isabel sat with Trent by a tree across the way. He said something and she smiled, tilting her head to the side and closing her eyes. I could still see the sadness and fatigue in her features. She'd tried to hide her surprise at my accusations the night before, but I knew. I spotted Tess at a table by the door, sipping a Diet Coke and reading a book. Tess had few friends; mainly it had just been the six of us. That was before. Now she stood alone, clinging to our past and hoping for our future. I looked toward the parking lot where I saw Maria and Kyle leaning up against his car. He stood laughing at something she'd said. His laughter rang across the courtyard, loud and joyous, as she stood with a half smile on her lips and a distant look in her eye.

"Maxwell," the voice greeted me as Michael dropped his body on the grass next to me. I looked over as he unwrapped his sandwich and took a bite. His eyes looked at me questioningly, "what's up?" He asked, his mouth half full of food.

"Nothing…" my voice trailed off as I took a bite of the sandwich in my hands.

Michael shook his head, taking another bite and wiping his mouth. "Don't give me that; you have that look in your eye. Come on, what's up?"

I sighed, bringing my eyes toward him. "I've just been thinking that's all." I said, shaking my head and looking down at my hands. "I've been dreaming of Liz."

Michael stopped, considering his words. "Max, you used to always dream of Liz after... the accident. It's probably no different."

I shook my head, looking back up at him. "That's the thing, Michael. I used to dream of that night, but I never dreamed of Liz. Never. She's been coming to me in my dreams. It's like she needs me to know something. It's almost as if-"

Michael cut me off. "Look Maxwell, we've been over this. I don't mean to sound harsh, but Liz and Alex are dead. We investigated it after they died. They were in a car accident and they both died. There's nothing we can do to change it and go back into the past... what's done is done." He finished softly, looking at me with sad but kind eyes. I knew he felt sad for me because he knew I still held onto her.

I sighed, looking away. He was right, but I wasn't ready to give up on the small glimmer of hope that had begun to shine in my heart. "That's the thing Michael; we really didn't investigate. We were all so upset... I think we kind of let it slide. I think we should look into it a little more."

"I'm sorry, Max, but I disagree." Michael said, shaking his head. "We have to just let this slide. Don't investigate. No matter what you do, just don't get Maria into this." He looked toward the parking lot where he instinctively knew she'd be. "She's been through enough. We don't need to give her any more hope, just to have it shattered again."

That night

I knew that Michael's words were sensible, but something inside of me couldn't let go of the thought that there was still something we hadn't uncovered after the accident. We'd all been so devastated. Liz and Alex were dead. It was impossible for us to fathom, and so our investigation had been quick and sloppy. The sheriff and I had found the car at a run down garbage pile over the boarder, ready to be smashed and recycled. It had been so badly burned and mangled that I'd gotten sick at the sight of it. We'd looked into the police records that we could get a hold of. They'd drifted into the wrong lane on the highway. The driver of the semi truck couldn't avoid them so he slammed on the break and blared the horn. They'd veered to the left, flying off the cliff and tumbling down the hill. The fire had killed them.

Remembering the details of the police reports made my heart hurt as I sat in my room that night. Slowly I kneeled down on the floor and pulled the box out from under my bed. I gingerly took off the top and rummaged through the photos and papers, pulling out the newspaper clipping.

"Local Teens Dead after Wednesday Accident" the headline read. Underneath there was a blurry picture of the demolished car and beside it a snapshot of Liz, Alex, and Maria taken sophomore year. I smiled slightly down at her face, so alive and real. They all had their arms wrapped around each other, laughing at some unknown joke now lost in the creases of time.

I ran my finger over her features and tasted the salty tears as they fell slowly down my cheek. I didn't let myself remember how much I missed her. I quickly wiped the tears away and focused on the words, reading them over for the millionth time.

_ROSWELL- Late Wednesday night, Roswell police were called to the sight of an accident outside of Roswell. The accident took place at approximately 8 p.m. Wednesday heading South, away from Roswell, on Route 486. A VW Rabbit drifted into the left lane into oncoming traffic. A semi truck attempted to swerve around, but the car veered to the left and off the cliff, where it started on fire. The two passengers of the Rabbit, Alex Whitman and Liz Parker, died instantly. The driver of the truck was unharmed._

The article went on to talk about Alex and Liz, but I stopped, reading the first paragraph again. "Heading south, away from Roswell." I stopped and shook my head, looking up and staring into space. What were they doing heading south? It had always seemed odd to me that Liz was with Alex at all. She was scheduled to work at the Crashdown a half hour before the supposed time of the crash. Nothing added up. Where were Liz and Alex going that night, heading south? What were they thinking?

I placed the article back into the box and picked up the lid. Before I could place it back on the box, I stopped, taking out a picture that lay toward the top. I looked down at our smiling faces. Michael, Maria, Alex, Isabel, Sheriff Valenti, Amy DeLuca, Tess, Kyle, Liz, and me. We all looked so happy. It was prom and we were euphoric at the idea of the upcoming freedoms of summer and our futures, yet still clinging so diligently to the past and those around us.

I knew that it was foolish, just as Michael said. I knew that I should finally let go of the past and let Liz's memory lay to rest. However, I also knew deep down in my heart that I couldn't rest until my questions were answered. It was becoming more and more impossible to extinguish the small flame of hope that was growing inside my heart.


	4. Lost in the Shadows

A/N- I love my reviewers- you guys ROCK! Because I got all the reviews, this chapter is a lot longer than was previously intended. Please keep it up- reviews inspire me to go quicker and write better. Thank you again!

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I sat in silence on my bed, my back leaning against the wall with my eyes closed. Liz's face appeared in the darkness and shadows of my mind. Happy and alive, she laughed, so vivid and real. I could still picture her as if it were just yesterday. Her picture still loomed in my mind, growing only slightly dimmer around the edges as the days got longer and the weeks passed from the time she'd left us.

We hadn't realized how much of a platform each one of us was for our group. With the absence of Liz and Alex, we seemed hollow. I knew it was why we'd broken apart so easily. We didn't have the glue of their love to cement us together anymore. They became empty gaps in our lives. Without Alex and Liz, it grew impossible for us to face each other anymore.

There was a knock on my door and my eyes flew open, turning my head toward the door. "Come in," I said reluctantly, already missing the silence of seclusion I'd had alone in my room.

The door pushed open and Tess's blonde head poked in, smiling before she pulled herself through the door and closed it behind her. She turned toward me, still smiling, standing awkwardly in the doorway with her hands in her pockets.

"Hey Max," she greeted. I could tell she wanted me to invite her in. She tried so hard and I often wondered exactly why.

"You can sit if you'd like," I said, motioning toward the vacant spot on the edge of my bed. A relieved look flooded her face. She walked over, kicked off her shoes, and sat cross-legged on the bed next to me. "So, what's up?" I asked.

She shrugged, the smile still etched on her face. "Not much, I just wanted to come and see how you're doing. Your mom let me up." She explained, looking down at her hands. "I've been kind of worried about you, Max. You've become so distant lately."

I looked at her sitting next to me, her frail form hunched over, and her blonde hair falling in her face. For a split second, I remembered what it had been like the night of Prom when she'd found me sitting in the dark hallway and we'd kissed. We'd been so close for that short time, and she'd completed me. I'd truly felt what I was destined to feel. With Liz's death, the feeling had been ripped away. I knew that she could see this, and at that moment I knew that she understood I was distant because of Liz.

Nevertheless, I shrugged my shoulders casually and shook my head. "Nothing is wrong. Just stress with school and all. You know how it goes." I reached over and turned on the CD player by my bed, grateful to fill up the silence with music.

"You've just been so quiet lately," she said, raising her eyes toward mine. "I don't know; I've just been worried."

"Well I assure you, there's nothing to worry about. I'm completely fine." I felt the smile stretching on my face. With one look at her I could tell she didn't believe the front that I put up.

"Look Max, you don't have to hide from me, you know. I'm here if you need me," she said, placing her hand over mine. I looked down at her small hand covering my own and sighed, feeling the warmth from her seeping into me.

I sensed the familiar twinge, rather than feeling it. My head quickly shot up and looked into her determined gaze. The memories began to flow and I wrenched my hand away, standing up from the bed. "Don't do that, Tess." I said, my eyes turning cold as I looked down at her. "Don't you ever do that again without my permission." I could see in her eyes the desperation. I knew she'd been looking for memories in order to find a way to break through to me.

Her face faltered slightly as she looked up at me, the fear from my hard tone obvious only for a split second before being masked. "I'm not doing ANYTHING, Max! Why are you so defensive with me? You used to let me in- I didn't have to ask for permission! Ever since she died, ever since then you've just been so guarded. Why won't you let me in? I'm trying so hard to get into you in any way possible. I'm sorry for doing that, but it's the only way I can connect to you anymore. We sure as hell aren't doing it on an emotional level."

Her voice sounded hurt, and for a moment I felt remorse for my hard words. I turned away. With my back to her I sighed. "Like you said, Tess, that was before. This is now."

"Why can't you just forget about her, Max?" Her voice pleaded, desperation seeping through her words. "Why must you constantly question the past?"

I spun around to look at her. "What?" I suddenly realized that in my memories she must have picked up on my hope of finding Liz once again.

"She's gone, Max. Why can't you just come to terms with that, let her be, and be with me? I've tried so hard and you just push me away. She's dead, Max. She's not coming back." Tess's eyes were dark and determined.

Her words tore through me but I wouldn't let her see that. I walked toward the door and opened it quickly, waving my hand in the direction of the hall. "You need to leave."

She stood from the bed, grabbing her shoes as she walked out into the hall. "You can push me out, Max, but it won't change the truth. Liz is gone. Sooner or later you're going to have to face the facts and accept your future... your destiny, Max." Her eyes stayed on mine as I slowly shut the door.

I leaned my weight against the door and let out the deep breath of air I'd been holding in my lungs. I closed my eyes, Liz's face appearing again. She had to be wrong. Liz couldn't be dead... not when I could still feel her so.

The next day

I walked up the path to the small, one level house. I knew I shouldn't be here, but I couldn't keep myself away. The shrubs around the house were overgrown and browned with the desert heat. Flowers lined the edge of the path, their petals wilting and dying. Weeds had overtaken the small garden that stood, suffocating the flowers and making the garden look shoddy and old. A passerby could have told that someone had once cared for them, but they'd been neglected with the passing of time. The love that had once been put into the exterior of the house was slowly fading away.

I reached the doorway and reached up, pressing the doorbell and waiting. I was nervous, but kept my head high. It was for Liz- everything was for Liz.

I heard the sound of locks being undone and the door swung open. Sean looked at me with surprised eyes. His look of surprise faded into annoyance as he stood staring at me, not saying a word.

"Hey... Sean," I said slowly. I hadn't expected the possibility that Maria wouldn't answer the door.

"What do you want, Evans?" Sean asked, the scorn evident in his words. Before Liz died, I knew that Sean had liked her. I knew that she may have told him things about me in the days when I didn't yearn for her. I knew that for a brief moment, he'd taken my place in her eyes. As he looked on me now, I was certain that he blamed me for a lot more than I could even comprehend.

"Uh, is Maria here?" I asked, my voice coming out weaker than I would have liked it to. I shoved my hands in my pocket as he stood glaring at me without a word.

"Let me just tell you something, Max," Sean said. He opened the screen door and stepped out onto the porch with me. He stood for a moment, the anger in his eyes before continuing. "If this were all about me, I would kick your ass right now and send you on your way. If this were about me, you'd have been six feet under a long time ago, that's for sure. But, this isn't about me. This is about Maria..." he paused, "and Liz." He opened the door and stepped in, "So, I guess it's not my decision." He held the door open and motioned for me to step inside. I didn't blame Sean for his words. I could see the sadness etched in his facial features and feel the sorrow in his soul.

I walked in and found the living room dark. Sean disappeared down a hallway and I heard him knock on Maria's door. I looked around the room as my eyes began to adjust. I'd been in the DeLuca house a few times in the past, but things had changed, somehow. There was such sadness in the house. I looked over on the mantle and saw a framed picture of Liz, Alex, and Maria. It was the same one that had been in the newspaper article the day of their deaths. The happiness in their eyes sent warmth into my heart.

I heard the rise and fall of voices from down the hall. Maria sounded upset and Sean sounded resigned and apologetic. The voices ceased and a few moments later, Maria appeared in the room. Her face was masked from any emotion as she looked at me.

"Hello Max," she said, her voice low as she looked at me. I hadn't spoken to Maria for months. She sighed and looked back at Sean with a glare before turning back toward me. "Come on," she said and began to walk toward the back door. I followed her out the door and slid it shut behind me.

She leaned her back against the railing of the deck and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, looking up at me. "You don't mind, do you?" She asked as she pulled out a cigarette. I shook my head and she quickly lit it, taking a deep drag. She turned, leaning her elbows on the railing. "God, I can't stand him constantly watching over me like that. I thought my mom was bad before, but Sean won't leave me the hell alone." She sighed, the smoke floating slowly up from her lips.

We stood in silence for a minute before I walked over and stood beside her, leaning my elbows on the railing and looking out at the backyard. "How have you been?" I asked, looking over at her. She too turned her head and our eyes were mere centimeters from each other. Up close, I could fully take in what Maria had become over the months. Her eyes had dulled with the sadness of loss and her hair looked limp and lifeless- nothing near the beauty it had held years before. Her skin held a pale, sad hue darkened only by the deep circles of sleepless nights under her eyes. I looked at her standing next to me and she looked... sad.

"Oh you know," she let out a low laugh and looked down at her hands, fiddling with her rings and tapping the cigarette on the edge of the deck. "You know how it goes." She looked into my eyes, knowing I would understand. She looked me over, considering my appearance. "Are _you_ OK? You look tired."

I knew that "tired" was the nicest way she could regard my appearance. In the past days I'd slept very little, tossing and turning with thoughts of Liz. In the few moments I slept I dreamt only of her face, dark and masked, staring at me but speaking no words. I would wake up with chills running down my spine at the sadness and reserved look in her eyes. She looked alive but so isolated that it frightened me.

"Yeah," I nodded, "well I am tired, that's for sure." I closed my eyes, scrubbing them with my fingers before opening them again to look at her.

"It's Liz, isn't it?" She asked, reading my features. I nodded and she looked away. "I knew that's why you'd come. I've been waiting."

I paused, considering my words. Michael had asked me not to involve Maria, not to get her hopes up. I needed Maria on my side, though. If anyone could help me, it would be Maria- the person who cared deepest about Liz and Alex. I knew that if anyone would understand my need to hold onto hope, it would be Maria. "She comes to me at night, Maria." I said slowly.

She nodded. "Liz," she laughed, "Liz has haunted me since that night."

I continued, urging her on. "She comes to me in my dreams."

She turned toward me. "Look Max, I've dreamt about Liz too, but it doesn't mean anything. They're just dreams and dreams can never be reality. I can't even hope for what I want, because hoping and dreaming will never bring Liz and Alex back. I've had to face that and I'm finally getting used to the idea that they won't be back. We can't dream them back into reality, no matter how much we loved them." She shook her head, "it's just not possible. Dreams aren't real; God only knows how I wish they were."

"Maria, I've never dreamed about Liz before last week. She came to me, she spoke to me. She wants me to reconsider. She needs me to do this for her."

Maria looked into my eyes. Something unveiled and I saw a glimmer in her eyes for the first time. "Max, do you think..." her words trailed off. The cigarette had died down but she still held it in her hand, her eyes locked on mine. "Do you think it could be real?"

I took a breath and nodded. "I think it could be real."

I saw a tear form slowly in Maria's eye as she looked at me. As quick as the glimmer had appeared, it faded and she threw the cigarette down and wiped away her tear. She looked at me, the hardness again in her eyes. "Give it up, Max! Liz is dead. It's taken me so long to understand this. I wish you'd just leave me alone!" She walked quickly toward the door and slid it open but I caught her arm.

"How do you know, Maria? How do you know?" I asked quickly. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sean coming toward us and I knew I didn't have much time.

"How do I know?" Maria exclaimed and laughed. "Liz _always_ talks to me Max. She talks about all these places she's been bound to, places she's been stuck. Don't you get it? She wants us to let her go! Liz speaks to me so I'll forget her so _please_ Max, please just let me forget her." The tears fell freely down her face and her words came out in choked and choppy syllables.

Suddenly the words clicked in my mind and I tightened my grip around her arm as she tried to pull away. I spoke slowly and firmly. "Bound with all the weight of all the words he tried to say, chained to all the places that he never wished to stay… as he faced the sun he cast no shadow."

Her arm became limp in my hands and she stopped, turning toward me slowly. Her eyes were wide, the tears still falling down her cheeks. "How do you know that?" She whispered, looking at me.

I ran my finger over her cheek as Sean looked at the two of us standing in the doorway. I smiled, wiping away her tears. "Because, Maria, Liz doesn't want to get lost in the shadows."


	5. Listen

A/N- Thank you for the reviews. Sorry it's been awhile. The more reviews, the faster the rest of the story comes. Also, this section will be a little bit confusing but as the story progresses, it will make more sense. What happened in the original episodes isn't exactly what happens in the story. So, keep reading and keep reviewing and more story will come. :) Thank you, reviewers!

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I looked at the vast desert stretching in front of the car as we sped down the long road. The sun was high, the day was new, and I felt the hope growing between the two of us as we began our search for answers. I looked toward Maria and saw her head turned, watching the cliffs of sand pass as we drove, her eyes glazed over; she was lost deep in thought. She'd been silent almost the entire ride, gazing off into the distant and not saying a word.

"I just don't get it," she said suddenly, her head turning toward me. "Where were they going, Max? Why would they be driving away from Roswell?"

I shook my head slowly, focusing on the road. "I don't know, Maria." I said honestly, wishing I had more answers.

"Liz was NEVER late for work. It just doesn't make any sense that she'd be traveling away from Roswell with Alex at the same time that her shift was supposed to be starting." Maria's voice trailed off as she shook her head, gazing off into the distance. "It just doesn't make any sense."

I saw the curve in the road ahead and I slowed the Jeep down, pulling it off onto the shoulder and killing the engine. The stretch of road was worn and empty; the highway had been worn out from the years of travel and was no longer used for interstate traffic. I knew we wouldn't have to worry about being spotted because the only time anyone ever drove on Route 486 anymore was during rush hour. I turned toward Maria and saw her eyes fixed on the road ahead, her face draining of color.

"I- I haven't been her since…" she trailed off and I nodded, reaching my hand over and covering hers. She looked toward me and smiled weakly. "I guess it's silly, but I'm almost afraid to go. It's like… it's like if I go, it will be real." Her voice cracked and she shook her head, unbuckling her seatbelt with her free hand.

"You don't have to go, Maria. I can just go if you want." I offered, taking off my seatbelt as well.

"No," she shook her head firmly. "I'm going. We're both going. Liz and Alex need me to be strong, and I'm going to do it… for them."

I smiled and we opened our doors, stepping out onto the uneven road. We walked slowly, side by side. We reached the other side of the road and Maria let out a breath as we stood looking over the side of the steep hill. I looked toward her and she nodded. We stepped over the guard rail and carefully made our way down.

We stood at the bottom, looking around. Maria shook her head. "This is it; this is where it happened." She sighed, spinning in a circle. "What are we supposed to do, Max?"

I too looked around. "We listen, Maria. We listen and wait for Liz to tell us what she needs to say. Do you remember when Liz got those flashes?" Maria nodded and I went on, "when things get intense, we see things. I'm just hoping Liz speaks, because we're here to listen."

I closed my eyes, breathing deeply. I felt the breeze blowing through my hair and heard Maria sigh again as she too listened and waited.

There was a flash of color against the darkness of my eyes. I kept them closed, waiting. Another flash and I took a deep breath, trying to relax and open my mind. Suddenly, the scene played out in front of my eyes, as if it were happening right in front of us.

_"Liz! LIZ!" Alex screamed, scrambling up the ladder. He fell over the top and pushed himself up violently, shoving himself forward. "Liz!" He screamed, knocking on her window._

_Liz jumped, looking up from her books. "Oh my God, Alex?" She said, startled. She quickly ran toward the window and opened it. Alex fell into the room, gasping for breath as he pushed himself up from the floor._

_"Liz! You have to listen. Yyou're the only one who will get it, Liz. Please." His voice wavered and cracked as his breaths came rapidly. "Liz! It's gone! It's all gone! I- I don't know. I don't know!"_

_"Alex, listen to me. You have to calm down." Liz said, grabbing a hold of both of his arms with her hands and guiding him toward the bed. She sat him down firmly. "Alex, what happened to you?"_

_"Liz! Don't you get it? Can't you see it? It's gone! I- I was erased." He searched her eyes frantically for any recognition. "Liz, you have to help me. You have to ask her what happened to me."_

_Liz looked him over slowly, and nodded. "I will, Alex. We'll get this figured out."_

I felt the breeze against my face as the darkness returned behind my eyelids. I opened my eyes slowly. I looked toward Maria as she simultaneously opened her eyes. Her eyes searched mine and I knew.

"You saw it too," I said slowly and she nodded. Liz spoke.

One hour later

I slowly climbed the ladder, feeling it shake as Maria climbed below me. I leaned over and caught her eye, placing a finger over my lips. She nodded, knowing that silence was imperative. I reached the top and swung my leg over onto the porch, pulling myself over. Maria reached the top and I took her hand, helping her over the ledge. We both looked around at the porch and smiled, each of our memories gracing this small area of Liz's life. I walked toward the window and slid it open, stepping inside.

Maria had said that the Parkers had closed off Liz's room. Liz and Alex's deaths had shocked the town, sending everything into a standstill for a few days. For the Parkers, the standstill had lasted months.

I looked around, feeling a pang in my heart as I looked around at the familiar surroundings. Everything in this room had a memory. Every piece of furniture, photo, and item of clothing strewn on a chair- everything told a story. The story of Liz's life played out in the remnants of her existence in Roswell. Slowly I stepped forward and looked around the room. For a moment I had forgotten that we had a purpose, but I saw Maria move into action and I followed.

We looked around the room for a few minutes. I looked over the papers on the top of her dresser. I scanned the pictures, smiling as I looked at the picture of our eight smiling faces at the Crashdown before Prom. I felt a yearning in my stomach as I looked at myself standing next to Liz. There was so much awkwardness in our eyes. For a moment I wondered, if Liz really was alive, did she still feel the pain that was present on that night? The pain that had disappeared in my heart during the months of her absence.

I heard Maria gasp and I looked toward where she was. She held something in her hand and as I walked closer, I saw that it was a photo.

"What is it?" I whispered. Her fingers shook as she stared down at the photo. I stood beside her and together we looked upon the photo. Alex and Leanna in Sweden… Alex's head was cut from the picture.

"Why would this be in Liz's room?" She asked. She turned the picture over and on the back in disjointed, uneven letters, was scrawled:

_Leanna is not Leanna._

"Sweden," I said slowly, looking toward Maria. She nodded, and we both understood.


	6. Questions

A/N- I know, it has been FOREVER since I've updated this story. I'm sorry, I truly am. I wish there was some excuse I could give, but there really is none. The good news is that this chapter is complete, and it actually ended up being quite long. I hope that my readers are still out there and haven't given up on me. I think I finally know where this story is going, so hopefully updates will come much more often. So, I hope you enjoy it and please, please, please review- it helps.

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Chapter 6

Maria sat in my room on opposite side of the room, each of us frantically dialing number after number on our phones. Sometimes people answered and offered guidance, sometimes we got nothing. When I looked at her I could see the determination set in Maria's eyes. It gave me hope that she was slowly coming back to us. Maria had been lost without Liz and Alex to help her make her way. She'd been stumbling, trying to find her place in the world just as I had. She'd distanced herself from me, from all of us, never realizing that we all felt the pain inside of her. Never realizing that none of us knew how to fill the empty void in our heart left by the absence of Alex and Liz.

On the car ride home from our discovery in Liz's room, I'd turned to Maria. "Where do we go from here?" I'd asked, desperation evident in my voice. I'd grown so accustomed to hiding all the pain and longing inside of me that it was liberating to be able to show all the questions hiding inside of me to someone who could understand.

Maria sat for a moment, contemplating her answer. "The trip was set up by the school, right? We just need to start calling, Max. We need to call anyone and everyone that we possibly can. We need to find out what happened in Sweden and who Leanna is and why Liz and Alex were heading away from Roswell that night. We need answers, Max. Answers will help us to see whatever it is that Liz wants us to see. Answers will lift the shadows."

So we'd gone to my room and we sat for hours. We thought of anyone who could help us and we'd just called. We had no reserve; we ran blindly, trying to find anyone who could have an answer.

I looked down at the list in my lap of names and numbers. I'd thought up as many names as I could and I'd slowly made my way down the list, crossing each name out as I went. I felt fear grip my heart as I stared down at the list. Every name was crossed off except for one. Slowly, with hesitant fingers, I dialed the number and listened to the phone ring.

"Hello?" The tired voice on the other end of the phone asked.

"Yes, hello!" I said, snapping into action. "Is this Ms. Galligher from the counseling office?"

"Yes, this is she. Who's calling?" Her voice sounded edgy and annoyed, so I rushed quickly on.

"My name is Max Evans and I have some questions to ask you about one of my friends' foreign exchange trips. I was told that you were the one to contact if students had any questions."

"Yes," she answered. "What program were you thinking of applying to? We have a wonderful Japan foreign exchange program. Oh, and many students enjoy our program that sends students to England. Or you could-"

I quickly cut her off. "Actually, I was thinking about the program that sends students to Sweden. My friend Alex went there a little over a year ago and he had an amazing time. He brought back all of these slides and had such awesome stories about the culture. I was wondering if you could give me information on that program?"

She paused and I held my breath. "Sweden?" She asked and I heard the sound of computer keys being punched in the background. She sighed, "I hate to break it to you, Mr. Evans, but we don't offer a Swedish foreign exchange program at our school. We haven't offered that program since early 1995."

I felt my body run cold, the blood in my veins turning to ice as the words escaped her lips. I quietly thanked her and hung up the phone, setting it down in my lap and staring at it.

Maria heard my voice silence and looked up. "Max?" She asked, her voice raising in a question. "Max, what's wrong?"

I raised my eyes slowly to meet hers. "Alex never went to Sweden."

**Later that night**

The revelation that Alex's trip to Sweden had simply been a fabrication led Maria and me to another dead end. If Alex never went to Sweden, who could we contact next? Who would know what had happened? How could we silence the millions of questions in our minds? We'd parted soon afterward, knowing that we each needed time to think over our options. As she'd left, Maria placed her hand on my cheek and looked up into my eyes.

"Sleep tonight, Max. Sleep and open your mind. If Liz wants us to know, she'll tell us." Her lips formed into a half smile as she let her hand slide off of my cheek, turned, and walked toward her car.

As I lay in bed that night, I took a deep breath, opening my mind. Within minutes I was asleep, and just as Maria had said, Liz was ready to speak.

She stood in the Crashdown, the lights turned low and music playing low from the jukebox behind her. She was turned away from me, staring into the juke box, her hair falling in a curtain around her face. Slowly she turned toward me and I noticed she was wearing the dress from prom night. Her eyes glowed with life as she stared at me, saying nothing as the familiar song rang throughout the words.

_Here's a thought for every man who tries to understand what is in his hands..._

Liz pushed herself away from the juke box and walked toward me. Slowly, without a word, she slid her arms around my neck. Instinctively my hands wrapped around her waist, and she began to sway slowly to the music. I looked down into her deep chestnut eyes, knowing that there were so many questions resting on my lips that I could never voice. I wanted to ask her everything I couldn't understand, I wanted her to give me the answers that only she held in her heart. I knew it was hopeless though; She couldn't give the answers to me in my dreams, I had to find them for myself.

_He walks along the open road of love and life, surviving if he can..._

Liz pushed herself up onto her tip toes and placed her mouth next to my ear. "Sheriff Valenti knows," she whispered. Her voice was serious, the opposite of what it had been in the previous dreams. "Sheriff Valenti, Max. He knows. He harbors the answers. Sheriff Valenti sees our shadows every day."

She pulled away, her dark eyes level with mine, her lips so close to my face that I could almost feel her warm breaths on my cheeks. For a moment I thought she would kiss me, and my body yearned to place my lips on hers, where they'd been so many times before. But I knew I couldn't; a kiss would only be possible if Liz truly stood in front of me; if I succeeded in everything I hoped to achieve. Liz nodded slowly before pulling her arms away from my neck. She turned and walked away from me, the Crashdown fading dimmer and dimmer with every step she took.

_As he faced the sun he cast no shadow..._

**The next day**

Maria and I walked toward the Valenti house, our feet falling in even rhythms as we made our way up the short path. The sheriff was our only thread of hope, the only clue we had leading us on our way. We had no idea what the dreams meant or whether we had any right to hope, but we needed answers.

When we reached the door Maria raised her hand and pressed the doorbell without hesitation. I looked over at her and saw her staring intently at the closed door, the determination evident in her eyes.

The door swung open and Kyle Valenti stood in front of us. "Hey Ria," he said smiling. His eyes shifted toward me and he stopped, obviously taken aback at my presence. "Uh... hey Max. What's up?"

"Hi Kyle," Maria smiled. "We actually need to talk to your dad. Is he here?" She asked.

"Yeah, uh, sure." He said, stepping aside and waving his hand for us to enter. "He's back in his office."

Maria led the way toward the back of the house and down the hall leading to Sheriff Valenti's office. She knocked quickly on the door, opening it after a moment. The sheriff sat at his desk and a smile spread across his face when he saw us standing in the doorway.

"Maria! Max! It's so good to see you both." He said, setting down his pen and leaning back in his chair and placing his hands behind his head. "Let me say, this is a very pleasant surprise. Come in, sit down."

We took seats in the chair on the opposite side of his desk. Maria and I sat in silence for a moment, our eyes catching one another's. We had no idea how to ask the questions running through our minds because we had no idea exactly what questions we had. We didn't know why Liz had led us to Sheriff Valenti, and we knew no one would ever understand our reasoning for asking such questions.

"Sheriff, we just," I paused, struggling to voice the words. "We just have been thinking. We have so many questions about what happened... what happened the night of the accident."

Sheriff Valenti nodded slowly, his eyes falling downward before he looked into our eyes. "I know it's been hard coming to terms with it all. Alex and Liz were two great kids, and it's so hard to see something like this happen. It's natural for you to have questions."

"I guess we just don't understand the whole thing. We knew that you were there at the site that night, and so we thought you might have some answers as to what exactly happened," I explained.

"We just want to know what happened, Sheriff," Maria said, her voice coming out quietly. "What happened that night?"

The sheriff paused, considering his words before speaking. "Well Maria, I guess no one will ever really know what happened that night. I mean, we don't know why Liz and Alex were on that road and we don't know why they swerved off the cliff. I really want to help you, but I don't have the answers that you want. Only Liz and Alex know where they were going that night and why. Only they can know what happened to make them have that accident. Only they know, and unfortunately they'll never be able to answer. I'm sorry you guys."

"But I mean, there are just so many questions. Sheriff, you saw the car, right?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yes, I was there. I did see the car."

"And," I paused. I knew the words I wanted to ask, but the pain and weight of them cut my tongue and I felt unable to voice them. I pressed on, pushing away my fear. "And, did you see their bodies?"

I heard Maria's voice beside me quicken and I reached over, placing my hand over hers. The sheriff sighed, letting his head fall as he reached up and rubbed his eyes with his fingers. "Max, Maria, the car that Liz and Alex were in went off a cliff and landed more than 100 feet below it. It burst into flames on contact with the ground. I know this is hard for you to think about, but the bodies were unidentifiable by sight. Only later in a lab could it be confirmed by DNA information that Liz and Alex were truly the victims. We had suspicion before, of course. The license plate from Alex's Rabbit was found a few yards away from the vehicle."

"But you did confirm it in the lab?" I asked, my hand tightening around Maria's.

"Yes," he said and nodded. "Their bodies were examined later and were confirmed by DNA traces."

A knock on the door broke the silence in the room that fell after Sheriff Valenti's words. "Come in," he called out, and the door opened revealing Tess in the doorway.

"I heard we had visitors," she said smiling, her eyes attempting to catch mine. "Hey Maria, hey Max."

"We were just here to ask the sheriff some questions about the accident," I said, the words rushing from my mouth as I kept my eyes locked on the desk in front of me.

"Liz and Alex's accident?" She asked, her question being confirmed by a nod from the sheriff. "Oh, OK. Well, I guess I'll leave you be then. Just call me if you need anything." She said and smiled before quietly closing the door behind her.

I looked over at Maria for the first time since my question and saw her staring toward the ground at her feet. I could feel the disappointment falling around her and I could see the sadness in her eyes.

"Thank you, Sheriff Valenti." I said, raising from my chair. "I think that's all of our questions for today." I place my other hand on Maria's shoulder and she looked up at me, rising from her chair as well.

The sheriff stood and walked toward the door, opening it for us. "If you have anymore questions, or if you need anything at all, you know my door is always open. You can always come to me if you need me."

I nodded and walked through the door, pulling Maria along with me, our hands still linked together. We made our way through the house and toward the front door.

"Hey Max," Tess's voice stopped us at the front door and I turned toward her. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" She asked.

I paused, looking back at Maria. She nodded. "I'll meet you outside Max." She said as she pushed through the screen door.

Silence filled the room and looked toward Tess as she stood awkwardly in the doorway. She took a few steps toward me, her fingers clasped nervously around the necklace hanging from her thin neck. I realized that this was the first time we'd been alone together since the incident in my room where I'd gotten so mad at her.

"Look Tess, I'm sorry for being so harsh toward you that day in my room. I'm just under a lot of stress." I finally said, looking toward her.

I saw the relief flush through her features as she took a few more steps toward me, her hand falling from around her necklace as she placed it on my shoulder. "I'm sorry too, Max. I hate fighting with you. I just miss you; I miss the way things used to be. I just wish..." her trailed off and she looked down, embarrassment in her eyes.

"Wish what?" I asked, prompting her to finish.

"Nothing," she said quickly, shaking her head.

"No, Tess. Wish what?"

She paused, pulling her hand from my shoulder and curling her fingers back around the light amber stone on her necklace. "I just wish you could forget, Max. I wish you could forget, and remember what we used to have."

I sighed, shaking my head. "Stop wishing for hopeless things." I said softly before I turned my back to her and pushed my way through the door, meeting Maria back out in the sunlight.


	7. Answers and Hope

A/N- This update is coming much quicker than I ever imagined it would. I generally have this little rule with myself that I'll at least wait until my stories moves down far enough so that it's off of the first page of the recently updated stories list before I add the new chapter. But... I become obsessed with finishing this story this last week, and I spent long nights awake writing and re-writing, editing and re-editing and now the story is finally complete. There is this chapter and then one more concluding chapter and they are now finally both finished. So I thought it would be silly to keep any readers waiting, so here it is! This chapter is kind of like my "take care of business and get the whole unknown story out there" chapter, so it's just kind of technical, sorry. But it does answer most of the questions (except the one huge one, of course (WHAT happened to Liz and Alex- are they truly dead or not?), which will be answered in the next chapter) so that's good. I hope you enjoy and, as always, please review. 

(Final chapter will be put up soon.)

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Chapter Seven

Maria and I sat in the car for close to an hour after leaving the Valenti house. I watched as the tears slid down her pale cheeks, the hopelessness evident in her eyes. We sat in silence for awhile, each understanding that what Sheriff Valenti had said cemented something- it smothered the flame of hope that existed between us.

"It- it's over, isn't it Max?" Maria asked, speaking for the first time. She turned her head, her puffy eyes staring into mine. "It's over." She repeated, nodding her head.

"Maria, don't say that," I said firmly. "Don't say it's over. It isn't over!"

"Oh come on, Max!" She screamed, fresh tears falling from her tired eyes. "It's over! You heard what he said! Their bodies were identified... by DNA traces! You can't argue DNA traces, Max. Face it, it's over. Liz and Alex are dead. I'm just so disappointed in myself. How could I have let myself hope again? How? They're dead!" She shook her head, burying it in her hands. "God, it's so hard. Having that hope and then having it torn away again. It's like that night all over again-that terrible, terrible night. I feel like Sheriff Valenti just walked into the kitchen of the Crashdown and broke my heart all over again."

Maria's shoulders shook in sobs and I sighed, letting my head fall. I didn't know what to say to her. Deep inside of me I knew that Michael was right; I had no right to include Maria in this and get her hopes up again. It was an unformed plan. I was never sure that I was right; all I had were simple hopes. Hopes that now were causing Maria a deep pain that she didn't deserve to feel all over again. I just couldn't understand why Liz had come into my dreams, what exactly she wanted me to do. What was left to prove?

I drove Maria home soon after that and headed toward my house. I entered the house and walked up to my room without a word. I couldn't talk to my parents, I had too many thoughts weighing on my heart to form any sort of an excuse for my whereabouts.

I sat on my bed in silence for close to an hour. With what the sheriff had said I knew that I couldn't hope anymore. I had to extinguish everything I'd let myself build in my heart and let the understanding that I'd had to deal with a year ago reform in my mind. Liz was dead; Alex was dead. They wouldn't come back, and they weren't trying to help me find the truth.

I heard the knock on my door and raised my eyes. I sat for a moment before finally calling out to allow entrance to the person on the other side. Isabel peeked her head in before pulling her whole body through the door and closing it behind her. She walked over to the bed and sat next to me without a word. We sat together in the silence of the room, staring at the wall in front of us without a word.

"I thought they might be alive," I finally said, breaking the silence in the room.

Isabel nodded, looking down at her hands. "I broke up with Trent."

I turned my head to look at her and she did the same. "Are you OK?" I asked.

She nodded, her lips forming a half smile. "Yeah, I'm OK. I just realized that he wasn't what could make me happy. I- I want to be happy, Max." Tears formed in Isabel's eyes. "All I've wanted is to be happy. I- I miss him so much." The words escaped her lips and she knew I would understand that she wasn't talking about Trent. Isabel spoke of the only person she'd ever felt content with and the only person she could never see again.

Isabel had become so hard after the accident. She never allowed herself to cry; she never allowed us to see the pain inside of her. She never would admit to anyone the effect Alex's death had had on her. As I looked into her eyes, I saw everything she'd never let me see, every pain, every fallen hope, and every dammed tear, and for the first time since their absence it felt like it used to.

"I'm so sorry, Isabel. I wish I could make you happy. I wish I could figure out what happened. I wish I had been right- I wish they were still alive. I wish Alex were here to hold your hand and make everything better, because I can't do that for you."

Isabel smiled, reaching up her hand and wiping the tears from her eyes. "Oh Max, I know. I know you care about me." She paused. "Why did you think they were alive?"

I laughed, looking down at my hands. "It's stupid, really. I've just been having these dreams. Dreams about Liz. Well, they weren't really dreams, though. I don't know. They were just so different from the dreams I'd had in the past. She would speak to me and they seemed so real; almost like she was out there somewhere and she needed me to know something."

"Like dream walking?" Isabel asked, putting into words the thought that had been playing at the edges of my mind for days.

"Yeah, almost like that. Anyway, I was wrong. I was wrong and I hurt Maria and... it was just a wrong thing to do. I should have never gotten her involved. We went to see the sheriff and he confirmed things. Liz and Alex aren't alive."

"How do you know?"

"It's just- well, their bodies were identified." I paused, "they were identified by DNA. If there's anything I know about science, it's that you can't fake DNA."

Isabel looked at me for a moment, letting my words process. "But what about us?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, not understanding what she was trying to say.

"What about us? What about aliens? We can change things, Max. What if an alien killed them, or whatever happened. What if an alien changed something?"

I shook my head violently, recognizing the tone of Isabel's voice. "No, Isabel. Please don't get your hopes up. Please."

"Max, it's just that we never investigated that option. It's kind of stupid, really, that we didn't. I mean, Liz and Alex had huge targets on their backs being aligned with us. Please, just think about it. What if we were wrong?"

I didn't say anything, I simply looked into her eyes. For the first time since the accident I saw something stirring inside of her. I saw determination, I saw... hope.

"Let's go see the sheriff." She said firmly. "Let's go again. Even if they really are dead, Alex and Liz deserve to have their names cleared. They deserve to have the truth be known."

We were out of the house and walking up to the door of the Valenti house within ten minutes. Isabel rang the doorbell and Tess answered, a look of surprise flooding her features.

"We need to see the sheriff," Isabel said quickly, pushing past Tess and entering the house. I followed her, jogging to keep up with her pace. She opened the door to his office without knocking and he looked up at us in surprise as we entered the small room. I closed the door behind us and Isabel took a seat.

"Isabel, Max... I- what's going on?" He asked, the bewildered expression still on his face.

"Sheriff, we need to know the truth." Isabel said simply. "We just need to know."

Sheriff Valenti paused, looking from Isabel to me. "Isabel, I told Max everything that I know. I wish I had answers for you but I just don't. Everything I know you already know."

"No, it's more than that." Isabel insisted, not waiting for the sheriff to finish his thoughts. "We know that Alex's Rabbit flew off the cliff and we know that their bodies were confirmed by DNA evidence. But what if it was more than that? What if an alien was involved?"

Sheriff Valenti stared at Isabel, obviously surprised at her determination. I could see that he didn't know what to say to her.

"Look, Sheriff. We're just still so confused." I said, trying to reason with the sheriff. "You have to admit, things don't add up. There's no way Liz would have missed her shift without calling in to let Maria know. And why were they traveling on that road away from Roswell? There are so many unanswered questions. We just... we think you may know something that you don't know. I realize that doesn't make any sense, but we want to search your memory. We think there may be something there from that night that you can't quite recall."

He sat for a moment, looking between the two of us and considering my question. Finally he nodded, "Of course. Of course, you can look. I understand that you would want to explore any options. So, yes, you can search my memory if that's going to help resolve things in your mind."

Isabel looked at me and without a word we linked hands. I reached out my hand and Sheriff Valenti took it. Slowly I took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. I heard Isabel do the same beside me. We needed to make the connection.

Suddenly, without warning, the room began to dissolve around us. I looked toward Isabel and her eyes darted toward me, alarm evident. We hadn't even made a full connection, how were we seeing a memory already?

When the room reformed around us, the three of us were in the Valentis' kitchen. The sheriff was sitting at the table, paperwork in front of him.

_There was a bang on the door and Sheriff Valenti looked up, startled. Alex and Liz burst through the front door and rushed into the kitchen._

"_Liz? Alex? What's wrong?" He asked, standing up to greet them in the doorway to the kitchen._

"_Sheriff! You need to help us. Something- Oh, something has just gone so terribly wrong," Alex screamed, his voice breaking as he fell to the ground in front of Sheriff Valenti's feet. _

_The sheriff looked at Liz before quickly bending down to look into Alex's eyes. "What's wrong Alex? What happened?"_

"_He- he's just been like this, Sheriff." Liz explained, looking down at Alex's crumpled, shuddering form. "He won't tell me what's wrong. He just insisted we had to come and see you. He's been crying and screaming incoherent things. I just want to know what happened, but he won't tell me! Please, Sheriff. Please get him to tell us what's wrong."_

"_Alex," Sheriff Valenti said, taking Alex's head in his hands and forcing him to look into his eyes. "Alex, you have to tell me what's wrong. What happened?"_

"_She- she erased me, Sheriff. She took months of my life and made it all a lie. There was no Sweden; there was no Leanna! It was all a lie. She erased me. She... she used me."_

"_Who erased you Alex?" The sheriff asked, his voice firm, Alex's head still gripped in his hands. "Who?"_

_Alex looked up, the tears falling from his eyes. "Tess," he said, his voice barely a whisper. "Tess mind warped me."_

"_Tess?" The sheriff repeated. _

_Suddenly Tess appeared in the hallway. "Did you say my name?" She asked and then looked around at the scene in front of her. "Oh, hey you guys. What's going on?" She asked, the alarm creeping up into her words. _

"_Tess, _what _is going on?" Liz asked, her voice rising. "What did you do to Alex? He's screaming and crying. What happened? What did you do to him?"_

_Tess's eyes grew frantic as she looked from Alex and the sheriff on the ground up to Liz. "I- I just. I just need to fix this. I- you just can't know." She raced quickly over toward the group and placed her hand on Sheriff Valenti's head. "You can't know," she said, and the scene slowly began to fade away._

As the room reformed, I looked quickly toward Isabel and then toward the Sheriff. In the silence of the room I could feel the revelation begin to set in. The sheriff was beginning to realize what Tess had done, and the anger was beginning to build inside of my chest.

"How did I not remember that?" The sheriff asked, his voice sounding frightened and weak. "How could I forget something like that?"

I pushed myself up from the chair. "It's not your fault Sheriff," I said, my voice deep. "It's what she does."

I turned and pushed open the door, beginning to walk down the hall. I heard Isabel and the sheriff call my name behind me but I didn't turn back. I walked into the living room; I knew exactly what I needed to do. I found Kyle sitting on the couch and he looked up as I entered.

"Oh, hey Max. What's up?" He asked, turning his attention away from the television.

"Where's Tess?" I asked, looking around the room.

"She- she left," he said, confused.

"What?" My attention focused quickly on Kyle. "Where did she go?"

"After you showed up she got sort of jumpy. She said she needed to go to the store and she took my dad's jeep. I don't know; what's going on?"

Isabel ran up beside me and looked from Kyle to me. "Max? Where's Tess?" She asked, her voice filled with tears.

I turned my head to look at her. "Tess is gone."


	8. Whole

A/N- Well, here it is, the final chapter of Shadows. The reviews were slim on the last chapter, but my stats were good so I know people are reading it and _hopefully_ enjoying it. :) So, this is it. I hope everyone enjoyed it. There's something about this story that I loved. I love the imagery of shadows that I worked in throughout, forming the basis of the story. So, enjoy the chapter! Reviews would be appreciated so that I know how you all felt about the story as a whole. As for me, if I write anything new anytime soon it will probably be continuing my Roswell story called Forbidden but that is only if I can get the inspiration to write. Thank you all, readers- you make this all worth while!

(P.S.- notice the slight Roswell High reference at the end, for all the old school fans. Not much, just the aura colors, but I like to stick in references wherever I can. :))

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Chapter Eight

We assembled in the Valenti living room. Isabel stood in the corner, her arms wrapped around herself as the tears fell freely from her eyes. The revelation of what had happened to Alex had set something free inside of her and for the first time she allowed the tears to fall. Sheriff Valenti stood next to her, his arm wrapped around her back attempting to give her the only comfort he could provide. The shock was still printed on his face, as well as the embarrassment that he could hold a key to the mystery. Kyle stood off to the side of them, his face stony in anticipation and sadness. Maria and Michael sat on the couch in a tight embrace. Maria's tears fell one by one from her eyes, quickly being wiped away by Michael's protective thumb. She would sob and he would whisper into her ear some secret message of hope and comfort and she would look toward him, a slight smile forming on her lips as she stared into his eyes.

I stood on the far side of the room, my eyes moving from one person to the next. Suddenly I realized that this was the first time we'd all been together in years. The absence of Liz and Alex had formed a barrier between us all that we couldn't shatter. Now, with new hope at finding the truth to what happened to Alex and Liz that dark, memorable night had brought us together and let us trust one another again. It allowed Isabel to let the tears fall from her parched eyes, it allowed Maria to look into Michael's eyes again and trust in his embrace, and it allowed us to stand together in the Valentis' living room and form a plan as we hadn't done since before the accident.

"What do we do now, Max?" Maria asked, causing all eyes in the room to fall on me.

I stood for a moment, my eyes closed. Tess had killed Alex and Liz. My mind was still attempting to wrap itself around the thought that Tess could have played a part in what happened to two of us. Now she was gone. I opened my eyes and looked at the others. "We need to find Tess and there's only one of us that can do that." I paused and looked toward Isabel. "Izzy, we need you."

Isabel let out a little noise and shook her head. "No, Max, please. I just- it's been so long. I haven't done that in such a long time and this- this is so important. Please, this can't fall on me. I can't be the one that is blamed for not being able to find out the truth. I can't- I just can't let Alex down like that."

I took four long strides and stood in front of Isabel. I took her chin in my hand and nudged her face up so that her eyes looked into mine. "Alex needs you, Isabel. Please help us... help him."

Isabel's eyes held mine. Finally she nodded. "For Alex," she said.

"You can go into the bedroom so that you can relax and focus," the sheriff said, pointing down the hall.

"I'll go with you to keep you company," Maria said, standing up from the couch. Isabel gave her a grateful smile and the two headed down the hall.

After they left the four of us sat down on the couches and waited. I was amazed and pleased at how we could all pull together after such a long time. It was almost as if no time had passed between us; as if we'd simply been waiting for the signal to get right back into the groove. We were ready to pull together to serve justice to Alex and Liz by finding out the truth.

I sat next to Michael on the couch and for a few minutes no one spoke. Michael turned to me, breaking the silence. "Max, I owe you an apology," he said.

"No, Michael," I broke in. "You don't owe me an apology."

"Yes, yes I do." He insisted. "I should have listened to you and I shouldn't have been so harsh about you going to Maria. I knew you'd go against my wishes and that angered me, but I was wrong. I don't know how this is all going to play out, and I don't know what we're working so hard to find, but whatever the case winds up being, you've helped Maria. I was wrong and I admit it. You've allowed Maria to gain something... some sort of closure. You've helped her heal, and I appreciate that. So, thank you." He finished with a nod. "Thank you."

I nodded and smiled. "You're welcome, Michael."

Isabel jogged into the room followed by Maria and every set of eyes turned toward her.

"I know where she is," she said quickly, grabbing the keys to Maria's Jetta off of the table. "Tess is in Las Cruces."

Later- in the car

"We should be getting close. I couldn't get an exact location, just sort of fragments and images," Isabel said, scanning the surroundings in search of anything that could give us a clue.

"She was in an abandoned house? Are you sure?" Maria asked, leaning forward so that she could look directly at Isabel.

Isabel shrugged, "that's what I got from her. She drove to Las Cruces after Max and I stormed into the house. She drove to this house and... wait..." her words trailed off and she slowed the car. "That's it! That's the house."

I unbuckled my seatbelt and heard the others doing the same. Sheriff Valenti and Kyle pulled up behind us and parked, turning off their engine and getting out of the car.

"The jeep," Kyle stated quietly as we all stood together in the street, staring in the direction of the house. "She's in there."

"Everyone will follow behind me. I want to be the first to enter, OK?" I asked, looking back at them. A round of nods followed my statement and I turned back toward the house. "Let's go serve our justice. Just remember Alex and Liz." With those final words we began walking. With every step the rage built inside of my chest. Tess had betrayed all of us; none of the people walking up the driveway had escaped being hurt by her careless actions. We wanted to know the truth; we needed to know what had happened to Liz and Alex.

The sun was setting behind the house, shining light through the rear windows and casting long shadows as we entered through the doorway. The house was bare and shoddy, the wallpaper torn and hanging in rags from the walls. Trash littered the ground and the windows lay in broken pieces along the walls.

Isabel pointed to the left and I led the way down a hallway and into one of the back bedrooms. Tess stood in the middle of the room holding a stack of paper in her hands. She looked up at us as we entered, but didn't move to escape. She simply stood there and I knew she understood that there was no escape. There was no way she could break away from six people she had betrayed and hurt so badly.

She held the papers up before any of us could say a word. "This is it," she said handing the packet forward. I took it and looked down, scanning the pages. "That is where I sent Alex. Max wasn't responding to me and I just needed some answers. I just needed to know what was in that stupid book! So I got desperate," tears formed in Tess's eyes. "So I thought to myself, 'who could figure out that book? Who would help me out?' And you know what the answer was? No one. No one would want to help me out because you all hated me. You hated me and all I wanted to do was get you to accept me! So yes, I mind warped Alex. I created this fabrication and you thought he was in Sweden while he was really here in Las Cruces, decoding the book. He- I just don't know what happened. I don't know how he broke through the mind warp and remembered. I- my hold must have been weak or something. But he remembered. He remembered and he went to Liz. So he and Liz came to our house and they were demanding answers. What was I supposed to do, Max? What was I supposed to do?" She screamed, her words echoing through the room.

"Where are they?" Isabel's words came firm and strong from behind me and I saw Tess shrink backwards, moving toward the wall.

"What was I supposed to do? Isabel, please put yourself in my shoes." The tears streamed down Tess's cheeks, catching in the fading sunlight and reflecting. Her fingers wound tightly around her necklace as she rubbed the stone nervously, her knuckles whitening from her strong grip. "Can you imagine what you all would have done to me if you had found out? I just- I didn't know what I was supposed to do!"

"Answer us, Tess!" I screamed, my voice tearing through the room. "We can imagine what we would do because we DO know and we now want the truth. So tell us what you did to them. Tell us!"

"I- I-" she stammered, backing up against the wall. "I just didn't know what to-"

"Answer us!" I screamed, walking forward and grabbing her hand, pulling it toward me. The gold necklace chain broke and Tess's fingers loosened, the small stone falling toward the ground and letting out a crack as it broke on the hard cement floor. Suddenly the room began to lighten. Amber and yellow ringlets of light began to fly and circulate throughout the room, flowing against the walls and wrapping around the six of us. I looked around the room and saw the others smiling, watching as the colors enveloped the room, sending out warmth with every second that passed. Slowly the streams of light began to converge, the amber and yellow clumping together and solidifying, forming two solid masses in the corner of the room.

Liz and Alex stood wrapped in each others' arms, their eyes both closed tightly as they held onto each other. They stood alive, tangible, and real. I felt my heart begin to beat faster and I heard Maria let out a choked sob beside me. They were alive.

Slowly their eyes opened and they turned toward us, a smile forming on their faces as they looked upon the six of us, but no words coming from their mouths.

"I didn't know what to do, so I concealed them." Tess's voice came from the other side of the room and I turned toward her. I heard Maria rush from my side toward the pair behind me but my eyes stayed concentrated on Tess. Her eyes locked on mine. "I concealed them and created a car crash. It wasn't hard, as I'm sure you can imagine. It wasn't hard and I knew you'd all be too grief stricken to investigate it thoroughly. And I was right... until now."

I stared at Tess, tuning out the sounds of joy behind me as Liz and Alex were accepted back into life and back into our reality. "You will leave, Tess. You will go away and you will never _ever_ return. If I ever see you anywhere near us again I will kill you. Don't doubt me. Leave Tess, leave." I watched as my words hit her. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. When she opened them I saw her nod. She turned slowly and walked from the room, turning briefly in the doorway to look back at us. She disappeared through the doorway seconds later, leaving our lives forever.

I felt a tentative touch on my shoulder and I turned, warmth melting through my heart as I looked down at her small form. She was exactly how I'd remembered her, from her thick, dark hair to her pale eyes and thin lips. She was real. Liz looked up at me, the smile lighting up her eyes as she reached her hand up to brush the hair from my eyes. I caught her hand and laced my fingers through it, pulling her toward me. And then I held her, her head fitting into the crook in my neck just as it had so many sunsets ago.

She pulled her head away and looked up into my eyes. "You searched," she broke our silence, her voice coming out in a soft whisper.

I smiled down at her and nodded. "You gave me the clues." I looked around the room and saw Alex and Isabel standing off to the side, their lips connected and their arms wrapped around each other. Isabel pulled away and I saw the smile stretching her eyes into thin lines. She turned toward me and caught my eyes and I knew she was thanking me. To the other side of the room I saw Maria leaning her weight into Michael, her eyes closed as he slowly ran his hand through her long curls. Her face was relaxed and set in a content smile and I could see the happiness in her features; her best friends had returned. We stood as a whole- a complete set- the gaps being finally filled in by Alex and Liz, their places no longer standing empty and cold.

I turned my eyes back down toward Liz and saw her staring up at me. In my eyes she could see the months of searching, the pain at so many months thinking she was gone forever. In her eyes I could see the months of waiting, the months of standing in the darkness and hoping to see the light again. Slowly she raised herself up on her tip toes, her mouth moving toward my ear. "Thank you for not letting me get lost in the shadows," she whispered. She pulled away and I felt my breath catch in my throat as I looked into her eyes. Without hesitation I lowered my head and caught her lips with mine, closing one book and opening another with the sweet kiss I'd waited so long to receive. We all stood- the eight of us- laughing in the dying sunlight, our shadows stretching out so long that they blurred at the tips, converging us all into one single shadow, one whole, just as we'd always longed to be.


End file.
